Oh KFC, just when you thought America couldn’t get any fatter

So in theme with my last post on the anti-obesity Obama Easter egg roll, I figured I would post this new addition to the KFC line up. It is set to drop April 12th. OK. Brace yourselves:

OH, yes. It is what you think it is. It’s the KFC new double down “sandwich” and has fried chicken for buns. FRIED CHICKEN. It also has cheese and bacon and a ‘special’ Colonel’s sauce, which (and I may be going out on a limb here) I am going to guess is mayo-based. Now I secretly (well, not so secretly) indulge in fast food now and then. It’s a road trip fave, even if my stomach disagrees. But in this case, I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t. This shouldn’t exist. We are too fat. TOO fat. As a nation we should reject it, for our health, our food industry and everything else. TOO much.

If you are interested in reading more about the double down and other depressing fatty trends, you can do so here. Thanks for the tip Jonathan!

Peepdate by popular demand and other district news

Morning reader(s). So I have gotten some requests to see my peep-crazed friend’s entries from the peep show. I mentioned them in Tuesday’s post. Remember? She lost and was hardened and bitter and swore she would never compete but then did again and then lost but is now at peace with the  powers that be. Well, here are her entries, Peep Bloom 2009 & Snowpeepcalypse 2010:

Quite impressive no? She urges you all to click on the images (especially Peep Bloom) to see the detail and agree that she was robbed. So maybe she is not completely at peace.  I mean, many hours were lost. Anyways, for those not busy designing their own peep entries in their heads (the peeplic option, Peep-partiers, Hot Peep Time Machine), here is the weekly roundup:

Sign of the Whale in Dupont may be offering topless Thursdays. Way to class up the neighborhood (PoP)

Metro sent out a 14 car train (yes, that’s two trains fused together) and declares safety a priority. Yikes (DCist)

Metro may also cut all green line service on weekends, because apparently punishing poor people is the solution (14th&U)

Fenty misses deadly SE shootings because he was in Jamaica and didn’t tell anybody. I guess people don’t like mayors doing that (Washington Post)

DC ranked 2nd in the nation in energy efficient buildings! Take THAT San Francisco (The Examiner)

Best of DC winners and some DCspy opinions

Ok kids. The Best of DC results are in. Now, last time some DC results were in (i.e. my James Beard post), I thought I would get all bloggery and say “hey readers, let me know your thoughts!!” You know, because that’s what blogs do.

Yeah. You all failed. Basically, none of you commented except for empire state elitist who did not comment on the restaurants at all and instead talked about how much DC food sucks. Way to snark up the comments section.  ANYWAYS, learning from my mistakes, I have highlighted some of the Best of DC winners, MY thoughts, and could effing care less if you comment. take THAT…

Continue reading

Peep show results are in. No, not that kind of peep show, far more sad

The winner. Ridiculous. Click for larger version

So. A certain friend of mine regularly competes in this annual DC contest where you make dioramas out of Peeps. Yes, the Easter candy. So what? Its not like you do super cool things in your spare time. Anyways, last year she spent more days than are socially acceptable to create an elaborate cherry – blossom – jefferson – memorial – peep – festival diorama only to be excluded from the slide show in favor of, what were in her opinion, far inferior entries (and i agree).

Hardened and bitter, she swore she would never spend time on peeps again. Well. Until this year. Armed with cotton balls, peeps, paint and resentment, she constructed “the snowpeepalypse” in a final vying run. And was she a finalist???

Sadly, no.

Once again she was spurned. But this time, she felt the competition was much stronger, and has gracefully accepted her place in the peep hierarchy. So, if you are looking to procrastinate at work, here is your answer:

the 2010 Peep Show winners brought to you by the Washington Post. Yes, the Washington Post. They are AMAZING! Enjoy!

Paddles the Beaver and Other District News

Paddles the Cherry Blossom Mascot

You didn’t know the cherry blossom festival had a mascot? Yeah, neither did I. Not to mention beavers have absolutely nothing to do with cherry blossoms.  Or Japanese culture. I mean, Paddles might chop down cherry trees to add more branches to his (her? gender-neutral?) dam, but a cherry tree maiming mascot doesn’t seem appropriate. That being said, children will like Paddles, and they will like stuffed animal Paddles sold at marked-up prices at the National Mall even more. Can’t say the same for ‘branchy’ the stuffed cherry blossom branch. You can hang out with Paddles at the festival tomorrow. Details here.

In other news, Syracuse lost, adding another Big East abomination to the tournament, the caps choked, and I’m starting to see some green on the trees. Here is the weekly news roundup:

Politico Poll finds tea partiers to be Republican, white and dissatisfied with America. Yeah. Not sure that was worth the effort (Politico)

Does a pro athelete bringing 4 guns into the Verizon Center locker room warrant jail time? We’ll find out  today (WTOP)

Legislation to legalize medical marijuana will be introduced next week. Stoners  won’t notice (DCist)

Please, be nice in the comments section. Sensitive 14th St. wine bar owner threatens to sue U Street Girl for blog comments

New Eisenhower memorial design is Gehry interesting indeed. Oh yes, I did go there (Washington Post)

Yes, cupcakes are effing trendy CNN

The fabric of the cupcake lifestle

OK. So those that read my blog know my pro-pie stance on the cupcake obsession. If you don’t, read my please not another effing cupcake store post.

Basically, I advocate for minority desserts. Yes, cupcakes are delicious, but many other desserts are delicious too and deserve more representation. Trendy foods are irritating.  First those Pinkberry-type yogurt things, now cupcakeries.

However, unlike pinkberry, CNN is saying cupcake have transcended the trend category and are part of the American culinary landscape. Cupcakes are a “passion,” a lifestyle, a part of who we are (see article here).

Come ON. Cupcakes are trendy. Period. It doesn’t mean they are not delicious, it means that if cupcakes were not trendy we maybe wouldn’t have 6 (Yes 6!) cupcakeries within 10 miles of each other in a city that isn’t all that big. So please, dear pastry chef, avoid the hype. Open a bakery. Provide me with fresh delicious bread that I can ruin in my attempts to cook things. Or maybe a croissant. Or a piece of pie. Just not another effing effing cupcake.

So I don’t jump the shark on cupcake posts, this will be my last for awhile, but I just couldn’t pass up the article. It was just right there. Taunting me.

My idiot brother comes to town and health care passes

Idiot Brother and his Profession

So my idiot brother is staying with me for 10 days, which means posts may not be timely as usual. Just a heads up, dear reader. Only reader (thanks mom).

In other news, big weekend in the District. Health care passed last night. Dems are elated. Republicans are threatening to move places. I mean, I guess they are. Though I don’t know where they would move. Europe and Canada are basically axed. ANYWAYS, many Americans on both sides reacted strongly, despite not knowing what the bill actually contains. This is not a political blog, so I will not discuss the issue, but check any media outlet in any location at any time EVER and I’m sure you’ll find a forum.  

In other less important, but more blogworthy news: my BRACKETS. My brackets are, as a dear friend put it, Terri Schiavo’ed. Not technically dead, but I’m just about ready to pull the plug. Kansas choked, Nova choked, the Hoyas choked. WVU is my last lifeline. My last, terrible Big East dependent lifeline. Jesus.

Will post again today. In the meantime, read about the health care bill if you haven’t already. It does affect you and I know you have time if you are reading this.

Reporting Fail

So last week, for god knows what reason, I decided that I wanted to be a reporter. I had convinced myself that the local news is what people want and it was up to me to get all those random interesting facts about the neighborhood that the 13 other local blogs who existed 5 years prior to me had not gotten. Basically, I imagined myself like this:

 

Yes, it’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, so what? She was a journalist. Anyways. So I went into a boutique, asked the boutique owner (name will not be revealed) “oh this is an interesting new store, how long have you been open” as if I hadn’t been there a million times. She recognized me in 0.5 seconds and said happily, “oh you’ve come in here a lot, and, like I told you last time, we’ve been open 7 years.” (pause) “Why are you asking again?”

Panic.

I just looked at her blankly. Like a deer. A deer with an owl notepad, a canon elph and a strategically picked-out outfit that I thought bloggers wore. I garbled that I had a blog, she asked what it was called, I said, “I don’t know yet” (lie) and she just smiled. The kind of smile Forrest Gump got after talking about ping-pong. Wanting to evacuate as quickly as possible, I asked to take a photo, quickly snapped this awesome merch shot, and then fled the scene.

 

It’s a bird necklace. Or sort of. Maybe the “aura of a bird necklace” or “bird necklace ascending to heaven.”  Definitely not bird-necklace-I-need-to-purchase. So readers, there you go.  My investigative journalism got you a blurry bird photo and no information. News 1, DCspy 0.

My New Spymobile and Other District News

This was caught zooming around Chinatown (DCist)

Metro sucks, will continue to suck for the next three years (Washington Post)

Obama still won’t attend caps game, reaffirms hockey as the whitest sport ever (DCist)

Now cyclists have new places to run stop signs and red lights (Penn Quarter Living)

Turns out most basement apartment rentals in DC are illegal, renters discuss tax evasion methods in comments  (Prince of Petworth)

Tomorrow is the last chance to vote for the Best of DC! Show your support for your favorite places in the District (14th and You)