Baby for sale on DC Craiglist: Here’s some other stuff I found

A firesale????

So as many of you may know, someone attempted to sell a baby on craigslist a few weeks back. The Post broke the story and printed a copy of the ad, which read like this:

We had a kid but we just can’t handle it right now in our lives. she is up to date on her vaccinations medical records will be provided. we have been calling her Juliet but you can rename her if you want. sorry if you think this is wrong but we think the best way of insuring a happy life for her is to give her to an affluent couple that wants to have kids enough [sic] to pay for it. pics on request.

Yikes. The police raided the home but found no baby. The story just ends there. Have no idea what happened. NBC? After reflecting on this ridiculousness for about 5 seconds, I figured I had two options: I could either (a) post a thought-provoking piece on the slippery slope of informal craigslist transactions, OR (b) take 10 minutes and try to find something better than a baby selling on DC craigslist. I obviously chose the CHALLENGE. Here is what I found for sale in 10 minutes…

  1. Best household item: Yes, this was filed under “household”  – “STRIPPER POLE/STAGE (CAN DELIVER): Stripper Pole/Stage. Has fans to blow the dancers skirts up. Pole does come out. Heavy! – $300 including free delivery” (2168398801). Free delivery AND fans to blow skirts up??? STEAL!
  2. Creepiest “for sale – wanted” ad: “WANTED: FEATHERS & CORK: free feathers- such as from pet parrots and other birds and wine bottle corks” for an “art project” (2167469326). Great. Norman Bates moved to DC.
  3. Worst deal: “FIREWOOD FOR SALE: I have multiple cords of hard, soft and mixed wood. Seasoned and split ready to burn. Looking for maybe an x box 360 or something else you might have” (2168024887). X BOX 360 for effing firewood?? Better be old growth forest. Or at least come with amber and a mosquito trapped inside so I can make a dinosaur. AT LEAST.
  4. Most dangerous barter for an urban environment: “HOME IMPROVEMENTS FOR  HUNTING LAND:” Will do household handyman work in exchange for “allowing Co-worker and I to hunt your land…no lot is too small for bow, gun needs to be at least 10 acres” (2164799976).  Anyone want to offer their row house backyard for some bow huntin’??? No lot is too small. I’ll bring the spit and the bbq sauce.
  5. Best way to ensure nobody responds to your ad: Start it with “ladies.” For example, “Ladies, I would like to learn how to speak Portuguese (Northern VA).” Guess what this is a trade for?? Yup. He is a photographer. Ladies? (2166639324)
  6. Barter most likely from the Dread Pirate Roberts: “COINS, BULLION FOR YOUR…. dslr, lenses, home defense items, vest, ammo, jewelry, diamond earrings………etc. anything interesting” (2167731178).  First of all trading coins for items is not really a “barter,” but a purchase. Secondly, ammo? Home defense? Diamond earrings? He’s basically asking for a heist starter kit. HINT. Don’t give him the ammo first
  7. AND finally, the best ad of the day!!!

SUV for a burial plot??? Sign me up!!! Craigslist you are a national treasure and I hope you never leave despite how many babies you sell.

Best, SPY

One thought on “Baby for sale on DC Craiglist: Here’s some other stuff I found

  1. Can I simply say what a relief to find someone who truly knows what theyre speaking about on the internet. You undoubtedly know learn how to convey a difficulty to mild and make it important. Extra individuals have to read this and understand this side of the story. I cant imagine youre no more common since you undoubtedly have the gift.

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