Why the Redskins are going to lose Monday night and why I feel bad about it

Redskins fans, I feel absolutely terrible for you. I honestly, sincerely do. I’ve spent nearly a decade delighting in your struggles. I’m not sure why really. Generally, you are a pretty agreeable lot. I think it stems from the general wickedness of your owner. Or maybe I just like watching big market teams with unending funds struggle. Whatever the reason, I’ve been as derisive as one can possibly be.


But after this season, I’m slowly beginning to thaw. The embarrassing string of events that has transpired makes me feel nothing but sympathy — which I’ll explain:

By now, all of you have heard about Donovan McNabb’s (whom they shipped a 2nd round pick to receive, yet still have not resigned) two minute drill benching. The week that followed was one clumsy and demeaning excuse by Mike and Kyle Shanahan after another. Both of whom, you remember, were touted as the latest saviors for this franchise. I think a quick summary is in order:

  • Mike Shanahan — Despite being a two-time Superbowl winning coach, has yet to have any sort of consistency since John Elway’s retirement. Promising quarterbacks Brian Griese and Jake Plummer both sputtered after failing to impress him.  The Albert Haynesworth saga was so protracted and unnecessary that it remains a distraction even to this day. And now McNabb, a quarterback who’s lack of weapons and protection are incredibly well documented, has been called everything from out of shape to poorly prepared by Shanahan. This is what you want from a head coach? A team savior?

Savior... and fake tanner enthusiast

  • Kyle Shanahan — Mike’s 30 year old son and offensive coordinator. Kyle is the definition of being born on third base and thinking he hit a triple.  Look at his professional career — literally EVERY SINGLE STOP  he made the man that hired him had previously been on his father’s staff. Many point out his offense was number one in the league last season with Houston. This would be an impressive point, except he simply ran the head coach’s system — which hasn’t suffered at all since he left. Kyle has inherited his father’s smugness, suggesting the issues are a matter of execution instead of game planning. The temerity of this statement can not be understated.
  • Bruce Allen — Washington’s new and impressive general manager. I have never liked Bruce Allen. I’ve documented some fairly convincing reasons here. But once more, we have a man born into an incredibly prestigious family and who has never really earned anything. His father is the legendary former coach of the Redskins, and his brother is a former Virginia governor and senator. Okay, an incredibly racist former senator that when asked if his mother was Jewish, took it as an insult — but a senator none the less! At any rate, the Redskins fans have to suffer through another unqualified general manager with a spotty record.

This all gets me back to my original point — this is unfair to Redskins fans. It’s not unusual for new coaching staffs to generate buzz, but this staff believed and helped propagate the hype. If their aging quarterback doesn’t perform? It must be his conditioning. If the losses start mounting? No worries, we are all geniuses — we’ll get it sorted.

This coming Monday, the entire nation will get to watch as McNabb’s former team comes to Washington. This time though, I doubt Michael Vick will be taken out of the game. As such, I can think of absolutely no scenario where the Redskins don’t get demolished. This is a shame. Donovan McNab deserves better than this. His teammates deserve better than this. And most of all, the suffering fans don’t need to see yet another national debacle.

I could be wrong — maybe they really are geniuses. They’ll need to be if they expect to survive Monday.


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