YES. Fall fashion season is here. From menswear-inspired looks and bold prints, to leather jackets and contrasting textures, there is a lot to look forward to this season. However, with these timeless looks also come the stupid trends. You know, those trends that are fickle, ugly, or virtually impossible to execute. To help you navigate through the uncertainties of fall fashion, here are my top 6 pitfalls to avoid this season. Proceed with caution:
1-3: White tights, Peep Toe Boots, and “Unexpected” Fur
1. White tights: what would Brian Boitano do? Probably wear white tights better than you. White tights conjure up one of two images to me: figure skater or catholic schoolgirl. Trying to these combat these cliches without looking tacky (or 90s), is very challenging, especially in the unforgiving light of day. Your only hope is committing to winter white 100%, and that’s a bold move to say the least.
2. Peep Toe boots: Stupid. This trend was most likely invented by my fellow Angelenos that have no winter (you can also thank us for the “summer scarf”). Is a peep toe supposed to show off tights or are you supposed to endure freezing toes? I am convinced this trend is invented only so people buy new merchandise. Heaven forbid you just wear the ankle boots you already own
3. “Unexpected Fur“: Yes, those were FUR PANTS.”Unexpected uses of fur” basically translates to “add fur to every clothing item possible”: purses, boots, multicolored vests, and crazy coat accents. Now, if you have a bohemian style and love the ewok vest, go for it. However please, for the love of Zeus, avoid fur accessories. No matter how cool “fur blocking” sounds in fashion copy, it will look CRAZY TOWN in practice. Exhibits A, B, and C. Upset? Blame Karl.
4-6: Clogs, Mismatched Prints, and Capes
5. Mismatched prints: The Sarah Jessica Parker trend. There is always at least one. This is one of those trends you can see SJP rocking on Sex and the City, using designer pieces and flattering frames, but when you try it yourself, you look more like a poor man’s Ugly Betty. If you go here, I would consult a color wheel and stick to nice fabrics. I am serious. Try to get complementary colors and maybe a more neutral skinny belt to tie the patterns together.
6. Capes: Capes are a product of fashion spreads. We envision the waifish caped model riding a bicycle through the streets of Paris. In practice however, you just end up face-caping the person behind you on the soggy metro escalator. Oh, and your arms are cold but if you wear long gloves you end up looking like Cruella de Vil. No win. Just buy a nice coat with your poncho money.
That’s about it. Beloved readers, anyone care to argue?