When Mockingbirds Attack! Caribou Coffee Edition

In a wonderful way to start the morning, reports are in that a mother mockingbird has been diving-bombing customers at a suburban Caribou Coffee in Fredricksburg, VA.

dramatic reenactment

Apparently, her nest is located in a strategically-placed tree between the parking lot and the coffeeshop such that every customer must enter the attack radius to get their morning fix. The attacks have been erratic, yet relentless, with the mockingbird often chasing people through the parking lot. One local resident, after being dive bombed repeatedly, decided to film it. This was the result:


BRILLIANT. And yes, I side with the mockingbird. Look, she’s a single mom that’s got mouths to feed. Its not like the male mockingbird is coming around anytime soon. And after that 10,000th minivan of screaming children scares you half to death, you would snap too. It’s also HILARIOUS. Humanity had it coming.

Although mockingbird, word to the wise. You can imitate car alarms and all sorts of things. If you want the minivan majority to leave for good, just imitate things that scare them. Liiiiikke … minorities, small European cars, the koran, urban music, Pottery Barn closing, Grand Theft Auto, loud colors, Michael Moore,  and junior’s passion for musical theater.

You can read more details and attack testimonials here.

4 thoughts on “When Mockingbirds Attack! Caribou Coffee Edition

  1. Where do you stand on the debate? Are people born with a passion for musical theater, or do they choose to be passionate about musical theater?

  2. IHALW why do you have to politicize the proceedings? People such as yourself, were born for the theater!
    Oh, and sidebar, CATS was the worst.

  3. Those mocking birds sound terrible. They could almost make someone go to Starbucks! As always, your commentary on what else mockingbirds could imitate is hilarious. I am a “minority” and I am not even offended. That wasn’t sarcastic, laughed out loud. A

    More importantly, CATS is terrible, just awful. And I really like musicals, especially the greatest every – The Sound of Music. I couldn’t believe CATS was on Broadway so long. Just totally ridiculous.

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