Oh Jesus. Every once in awhile things are invented for the seemingly sole purpose of showing us why humanity is doomed. Things like segways, the KFC double-down, Justin Beiber, baby cages, dog snuggies, fake ponytails and now THIS:
The cat twitter collar. Yes, it is what you think it is. It’s a stupid collar that you attach to cats that has a sensor that can tell what the cat is doing and tweets some stupid message. Like if it the cat is eating it tweets, “mmm. this fish is delicious!” and if the cat is sleeping is says “swoooo twiwerd” in a baby voice and millions of cat people lovingly squeal because Snookins is “talking.”
God, I feel you Snookins. Because, for him, this is nothing new. His life has been one of torture. Cat leashes, cat “spas” (because cats love strangers!), cat photo ops, creepy snuggle sessions with “mother,” so honestly, why not cat twitter?
THIS is why civilization will destroy itself. It’s only a matter of time. It’s pretty much the premise of the movie Idiocracy (great concept and terrible movie by the way). Basically, stupid people reproduce at a faster rate than smart people because smart people weigh the consequences, which will inevitably result in stupid people running the planet and watering all our crops with Gatorade instead of water because it has electrolytes.
Cat twitter just brought us one step closer. Bravo.
(Oh and if you have free time, TIME magazine just listed its 50 worst inventions of all time. worth a read here)