So as I am sitting in Jakarta, i.e. one of the few places in the world where I could actually make it rain (seriously, the exchange rate is like 9000 Rupiah to the dollar), I started thinking about money. More specifically, all the clothes I would buy if I actually HAD money. Then I naturally started thinking about all the horrid things celebrities buy even though they DO have money. One item on that stupid trend train?  The fancy jumpsuit:

Oh jesus god the fancy jumpsuit. Fancy jumpsuits are one of those trends that come along, like high waisted tapered pants, JUICY ass-pants, harem pants, and no pants (i.e. leggings as pants), that I cannot understand. They are universally unflattering, encourage el camel-toe, and, though they come in different shapes and sizes, all end up looking either like superhero costumes, fancy pajamas, the wardrobe of Dynasty or a combination of the three. They are also guaranteed to be completely out of style in 6 months, which means they are only for those who can afford to light money on fire.

People. You are young. You have wonderful figures. Just slice the jumpsuit into a top and pants, make sure each is flattering, and we are in business. Do it for the rest of us who live vicariously through your millions. Please. For the children.