Stop judging me for forgetting my reusable bag Whole Foods

Whole Foods at 14th St. and P St. NW

Dear Whole Foods,

I am an environmentalist. I am. I have actually dedicated my career to saving trees and birds and things and I make semi-decent income doing it. But for the life of me, the LIFE of me, I can never remember to bring my reusable bag to the grocery store. I can’t help it. It’s like I’m programmed to forget. And whenever I go up there, I always end up behind one of your pretty young minions with a bedazzled eco tote that looks like this:  

Usually accompanied by a dog that looks like this:

God. PUNT. And then, without fail, I get that look. That ‘way to club a seal’ type of look. I want to say that Muffins’s dog sweater wasted more resources than my stupid paper bag. But I can’t. I am the bottom of the Whole Foods chain. SO, I just buy my $12 bag of grapes and slink out. Ashamed.

Whole Foods, I commend your reusable bag movement, plastic bags are truly a tremendous waste of materials. I love your prepared meals that are perfect for the lazy dinner party. But on behalf of dedicated yet forgetful environmentalists everywhere, do not judge those that don’t carry an eco bag. Many of us try, we really do, we just forget things at times, and then remember, but then it’s already too late, and we don’t own cars and use public transport so we can’t get back in time and really just wanted a snack. That’s all. We would all be grateful.

Sincerely,

DCspy

20 thoughts on “Stop judging me for forgetting my reusable bag Whole Foods

  1. I’ve taken to just juggling my purchases in my arms so I can say “I don’t need a bag, thank you very much!” and feel like I’m still being enviro-acceptable, even though I’m quietly cursing myself for YET AGAIN forgetting that stupid green bag that resides under my sink and would just love you to give me the bag without the side of ‘tude. Good letter.

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  3. Yikes, you really get dirty looks? At least you’re getting paper vs. plastic – it’s something :)

    I forget mine all the time, and I even have the fun looking bags!

  4. Ha! I did the same thing this weekend – needed groceries but had none of my reusable bags with me. I actually told my husband we could not go to Whole Foods because we’d be shunned.

  5. The paper/plastic grocery bags can be reusable too for many different projects, so don’t feel too bad about forgetting your reusable eco friendly bag

  6. I am glad I am not young anymore. Because I do not want to see what happens when our fossile fuel oil is all gone. No matter how much we drill. At the rate we are using it up. It will all be gone. Your car you have today will only make for a good planter in your yard. No one believes it will happen. Fossile fuels will run dry.

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